Grandma arrived in Halifax by boat in 1904 at age four from the Ukraine. She married at age 13, settling into a prairie homesteading life with my late grandfather. They raised a whopping 13 children, and in turn, being a good Ukrainian family, all married and raised families of their own to a large count at the last reunion. So there was certainly no shortage of visitors to Grandma when she landed in extended care.
In her high 80’s, Grandma had fallen down that wicked flight of stairs in the back of her house and broke her hip. That ambulance ride to the hospital turned out to be a one-way fare and she would not see her home again but live out the remaining seven years of her life in a wheelchair in extended care.
Although the recreation programming did their best, they couldn’t provide all the necessary stimulus required for a well-balanced life. Especially to their main demographic of frail, often forgotten, elderly men and women were who had no other source of activity. Thank goodness for outsiders who included these fragile individuals in their regular visits, being family or not. And our family was one, since there were plenty of us.
Myself, a grand daughter in my early 30’s, had gone a little sideways so visiting Grandma was something consistent and constructive I could do for us both. Having grown up less than a mile from her house, I knew her better than my other cousins, and knew the worth of a good perogy or holopchi. So it was easy to carry on the familiar relationship even though she was gradually slipping away.
One year in late August, Recreation asked me if Grandma would like to join them on their field trip to the Pacific National Exhibition. Wow! Really? This bunch? I had never considered something as high energy as that because, quite frankly, I thought it was beyond them plus I had no way of getting a wheelchair there. No problem, they could do that. So yes, I’d love to meet Grandma there and push her around. We talked details and I got the drop off and pick up info. We had the whole day Gram!
It was a glorious sunny day. The care aids made sure she had a hat and lots of sun block. We wheeled by all the pop-up games and their surrounded stuffies of all sizes. The sights, sounds, and smells of a fair in full swing were stimulation overload so we veered over to watch the gentler kiddie rides, and listen to some of the street entertainment. We caught the outdoor Super Dog Show while munching on mini donuts. She comprehended some of the tricks and even recalled their farm dog’s name ‘Rover’.
Then we came across one of those gimmick vendors who take pictures with different backdrops. The kind with face holes cut out that s you just stand behind. I giggled at the thought of Gram and I hamming it up. At first Grandma didn’t want to but the lady vendor was wonderful and softly encouraged her by describing some of the scenes. The penny dropped when she heard the word bandito. Uncle Alex, her son, traveled to Mexico every winter so she recognized the word. I think she knew somehow it was connected to Uncle Al, so she was game. The vendor and I were delighted. We wheeled into position and said ‘cheese.’
The afternoon rolled by seamlessly. Staying in the slow lane, we strolled and sat, munched and lunched, watched and observed. It was a marvelous outing. I bought a heart shaped crystal to hang in my window. We picked up flyers, and papers, samples and programs. I bought a batch of PNE Prize Home lottery tickets and filled out Grandma’s name on every one of them, smiling at my mind’s eye of her in the massive home theatre watching Pig n’ Whistle or Lawrence Welk.
By 3 o’clock we were done. Bags jammed, spirits weary, we returned to our meeting post tired but happy. Like clockwork, the care aides were there to greet us and loaded up the bus. I sent the bandito back with a giant loot bag of goodies including the gimmick photo we had taken. The nurses were kind and posted it on the corkboard in an otherwise static existence. At first it brought cheerful conversation, but as her days turned into withdrawn months, it became a glimpse into her beautiful soul we knew was still there.