The Art of Giving

The Art of Giving really is an art.

True giving comes from a full well. It can be in thought or deed but it’s from the heart. So it was a rude awakening when MS challenged me that I could no longer keep up to my own good intentions of giving back to the world as I always had. 

At first it wasn’t too bad and I took it as a challenge to myself. When I downsized from house to trailer; from country to city; I needed a boat load of help which I so generously received. And that inspired ‘The Art of Giving ‘ lunches. Its where I invited four people, unbeknownst to each other, that had done something significant for me during the year. I wanted to give them a feed a cabbage rolls (that I had perfected over 20 Christmases!) in appreciation for what they did for me, but further to a meal, I wanted to publicly introduce them to each other, tell the story of how we met, what they did for me and how it impacted my life (which is huge living with a chronic condition). I wanted to encourage them to keep doing what they do best in their field because it really does make a difference in the world at large. The first year I asked the realtor who found me a place I could afford in Victoria; a retired builder who fenced my teeny yard; the dog trainer that came to help city-savvy my dog; and the man and his son who came and did yard work on a regular basis. Each of those things greatly impacted my life. And I think everyone left a little happier than when they came.

The lunches only lasted two years before Covid came and I moved. Then I had to come up with more ideas from Assisted Living. I started check-in-hello phone calls to people I hadn’t talked to in years; wrote short stories for The Story Project (an Alzheimers initiative); sent notes & cards across the miles and left a muffins at neighbours door.

But still as MS milked away more and I myself required more of my own effort to keep life on task, I had to creatively come with with new ways of giving in meaningful ways. Writing a prayer, attentive listening (with good questions); learning names and using them often, sharing a smile are a few. MS and its symptoms have the great potential to leave me despondent and in despair, but they can also be the beginning of a new way of thinking and being, by bringing more joy into the world regardless of my personal circumstances.

True giving gives something of ourselves, from a full well, without fear, without self interest. And the more I do it, the more it became authentic and real. But how can I see happiness or joy when I’m consumed with my own wheels falling off? How can I cultivate a heart of gratitude with fire licking at my heels? For me, it started with thankfulness. The more I focussed on the little things I was grateful for – how green the trees were; someone reaching a high shelf, a warm hello, someone picking up my cane, the more I noticed them. Of course it goes deeper than whistling in the dark and positive thinking, but positive thinking was a good start to changing the lenses in my glasses. It helped keep my hopes up and on the track I desired to be on. 

I got myself a scribbler and wrote down small insignificant things because against the backdrop of Mount Kilimanjaro they seem like nothing and get buried. But they are something. Together with a true desire to be taken to higher ground and a willingness to learn anew, I was sure to be on my way to something new. And that kept my mind busy enough to pale the MS diagnosis to the background where I could embrace the rest. Writing them down also gave me a record to refer to on rough days.

So the Art of Giving truly is an art. And we’re all artists.